Comfort

Before I tell you what happened today...a little back story.

 

I only nursed my sweet boy for 8 weeks...8 long, hard, sleepless, tear filled weeks.  I wanted it  to work so bad, but you can't force a newborn to nurse.   And while I am confidant that it would have worked had I have known where to go for help, I didn't.  I cried every time I gave my sweet boy a bottle...for a long time.  Ellary was a different newborn, and I was a more determined Mommy.  I didn't give myself the option; nursing would work this time around.  I knew where to get help, and I sought it out numerous times.  Ellary has always nursed well, but that doesn't mean we haven't gone through our set of challenges.  We were not nursing, pain free, until Ellary was 6 weeks old.  I can not tell you how many times I cried through feedings in the early weeks.  Or how many emails I sent to a friend asking questions.  I had two different lactation consultants come to the house, two times each.  I called our hospital's lactation consultant line all the time.  I started going to LLL meetings when I was only 4 months pregnant.  All that to say...yes...Ellary was a good nurser from the very beginning...but we still both had to work hard at it.  And to be honest, it is an accomplishment I am proud of.  I love nursing Ellary, and she loves it so much she still wakes up every few hours at night to nurse....at 6 months old. :)

 

So today....

I called the pediatrician about a concern I had with Ellary.  Nothing big, and I figured they would tell me..its normal...but they wanted to see her.  Even after I said I didn't really want to bring her in...they still wanted to see her.  We saw the PA whom we  have only seen a few times.  She asked me how many times a day Ellary eats...I explained I nurse on demand, and she nurses every few hours, including throughout the night.  She stopped, looked at me with a disgusted look and said sternly, "She is 6 months old, that is not necessary.  She is only doing that for comfort."  I promptly told her I was ok that she was nursing for comfort.  That I am a Mom that believes that if she needs to nurse for comfort..then well...it IS necessary. The appointment could have ended right there...and I learned that the PA at our office and I most certainly do not agree.

My problem with her comment...Why is it a problem that my 6 month old needs to nurse for comfort to fall back asleep at night?  Why is it unnecessary?  Why is her need for comfort not important? Yes, I am tired...yes I walk around a bit zombie like...yes I wish she would sleep better...but isn't that part of being a Mom.  Basically what she was telling me was to let Ellary SCREAM so that I could sleep...not gonna happen.  Ellary and I worked too hard to make nursing a comfort, for me to deny her that comfort and make her scream herself to sleep.

...which brings me back to this post from last year.

When are we going to stop viewing our babies as a bother...and obligation...an unnecessary need to be comforted (it feels wrong to even type that)

This morning, after nursing Ellary, she was wide awake, so I set her next to me in bed.  She crawled up on my chest, and just wanted to lay on me and cuddle.  All I could think was, how cool is it that I am what she needs? 

 

So yes, my 6 month old us up all night long...to nurse...for comfort...and I am proud that something we worked so hard at in the early weeks is such a huge comfort to my girl.